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“I am a seeker of truth who finds meaning in clarity and simplicity.”**

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Daily status or thoughts updated when I have time or a reason

Current Status (updated 8/1/26)

A friend of mine mention “my situation” without giving me any real details., When I asked about what was meant by “my situation”, I did not get a clarification.

I really have no idea what “my situation” means to others. It could mean many things to many people at any particular time, I guess. So I decided to define for me, at least, what “my situation” means.

My situation, to me, would refer most likely to my current high priority issues on my list of things to do along with my general current lifestyle.

Starting with my current lifestyle, I see it as being “stressed” due to many factors. Most, if not all, of the stress has been brought about by no missteps, mistakes, or bad decisions on my part. In other words, I am not a derelict, a druggy, an abuser, a criminal, a sexual pervert, or someone who has been diagnose with some sort of mental issue or illness. Much of the stress I may be dealing with is not all bad, either. There is good stress in life that motivates us to deal with and solve problems. I look at most of the stress in my life as being good along with some very bad stress.

Financial stress is extremely bad. Although I am dealing with quite a bit of financial stress which does take a big toll, I have consistently been able to successfully deal with financial hardships. But I will add that I have had ZERO help from anyone with regard to financial matters. I have had to go it alone my entire life. In addition, I have dealt with taking on the financial burdens of others as well at my expense even while dealing with severe hardships of long periods of zero or very limited income.

The other aspect of my lifestyle which does provide a substantial amount of bad stress is living in a cluttered environment. Of course, this transition from an uncluttered to cluttered environment did not take place without my participation. My proclivity to collect things and not get rid of items was slowly becoming more of an issue over time. But I always had a threshold of how much stuff I would accumulate without some sort of alarm going off in my head which would cause me to stay below a critical level where the clutter would make me eligible to be on the the hoarders show.

But fast forward to when my parents passed, and a decision was made to move their entire household of items into to my house along with some of my sister’s items as I helped declutter her place along with friends items when they got divorced and needed someplace to store their things along with girlfriends who I agreed to store their items as well. Of course, I am responsible for each and every decision I made along the way. The straw the broke the camel’s back was storing an entire household of my parents’ items in my house. I knew it at the time that I needed to deal with this situation immediately, and the plan was to immediately sell or find a home for their items. - IMMEDIATELY one or two boxes at a time each and every day.

For many reasons I will not include here, the “estate sales” business did not happen. What unfolded over the next three years was my living in a storage unit completely full from one end to the other, top to bottom, taking up almost every inch of space including garages, patio areas, several sheds, every room of my house including the kitchen and utility room, and even bathrooms.

My “situation” as I see it is primarily a situation of living in clutter for several years along with a building financial hardship preventing any easy solutions. I was aware of the danger of living like a hoarder (sans any trash, garbage, rodents, dead cats, fecal matter, etc. that is often seen on the hoarders show). I was proactive and had a plan to deal with the clutter, but the trust I had put on others to help me execute a plan to avoid my current situation unfortunately did not come to fruition. Maybe my mistake was to rely on others to follow through with commitments for the little non-financial help.

Unfortunately, for many reasons beyond my control, I found myself at retirement age not in a position to relax and enjoy whatever life I may have remaining. But I refused to see things so negatively, though. Although I do not see a time in the near future where I can just relax and enjoy life doing things that might be on my bucket list, I still am working toward a life where I can be productive as long as I can provide for myself in the short term while building toward future years when I may be unable to generate income that I might need to survive. But time is running out, and the pressure is on.

Those two things, for me, describe my “situation”. Living in clutter was the result of decisions I made, but my mistake was relying on others who made a commitment to me and failed to follow through. The financial situation was beyond my control - we can say out of my control. In fact, my cunningness and exceptional abilities to deal with financial matters under extremely difficult situations have essentially allowed me to live as close to a normal life as I have. The vast majority of people in my position would be living in the gutter or have been dead by now. us me know someday.